Let’s face it. We bloggers or readers sometimes do feel jealousy or envy with our fellow bloggers or the ones we follow. In the community of travel blogging, hide as we might, but we do feel envious to our fellow blogger whenever they go somewhere else, celebrate, or relax. In the era of social media, this has become a menacing fact, we guess or perhaps feel psychologically. Sometimes these emotions affect not only ourselves negatively, but our relationship towards other people as well.
I for one do feel this sometimes, given that I haven’t traveled much for the past few months.
However, we can divert this sort of negative feeling to a positive approach. How can we minimize or overcome this remorseful feeling of “I should be there too” or “(S)he shouldn’t be there” or “Nakakainggit naman!” into “a call for action?” Here are some of the tips:
- Make it as a source of inspiration – Make the blogger or the travel-related post that you are following as a source of inspiration. Think that you too can go there, do it, with patience and hard work. Always remember that even these well-traveled, well-seasoned bloggers started with a single step. Remember the Japanese proverb, “A journey of a thousand miles begin on the single step.” You too can make it or even beyond it! We have different paths to take towards our goal–and it’s the journey that counts the most.
I for one have looked upon the hosts of Lonely Planet, Travelers, and other travelogues as my inspiration. I envied them because they go to a lot of places. Later I realized, it wasn’t the right thing. I too can do it, someday.
- Be ready – Have yourself ready for these “enviable” posts. Most likely those people who post also have some challenges other than yours. In the era of social media, people tend to post the “ideal self” or “the ideal destination” to be on social networks. This triggers envy or jealousy in some people, especially those who haven’t have the opportunity. Guard yourself.
My timeline is full of travel bloggers and destinations. It is something that I acknowledge and perhaps my love and hate relationship in social media realm. I have to make sure to guard myself up and make these as a source of inspiration.
- Avoid impulsive negative posting or bashing. Control – Don’t bash or bully a person who has gone there. Pessimistic people often think they can never go there, do it, and experience it. They sometimes badmouth, mark the one who posted as “mayabang” or boastful, look for anything negative about the blogger himself/herself, or even resort to cyber-bullying. Always remember the law of karma. People will avoid you in the long run if you have turned yourself as a green-eyed monster, simply too obnoxious, or just too ampalaya bitter. Also, try not to think of anything negative for the blogger you are reading. It is best to mind your business and not harbor grudge or hatred.
Pessimistic people are often called “toxic” in the timeline. Often, they find you annoying. So they start un-following you or even un-friend you. I wasn’t an exemption to this from time to time, so I have to conquer it and control my impulses.
- Don’t look on yourself with self-pity — Perhaps this one may be one of your toughest challenges, especially on idle minds and boring days. Take a hike and read a book. Think that it is not your time yet to go there and someday you’ll be there too.
Every time when I look on myself with self-pity, there is nothing but a heavy and sick feeling lingering in my mind and body. This we have to conquer.
- Go on an information diet – If social media is deemed too toxic for you, log off. Timelines have been a source of depression for some or I guess most of us. Take time to read books, perhaps learn a new language, take a vacation, or anything productive. Recharge yourself and take it slow. Then after that, if you think you are ready, log on with a fresher and newer perspective.
This is one of the best advises I’ve listened to. Social media is indeed intoxicating if you are stuck with it. It felt good when I have to leave an addiction that it has been affecting my life in a negative manner.
- Positive or encouraging words – We remember how communication can change the mood, even if we are to deliver bad news. It goes the same here. Instead of “Why was he there and I’m not?” we can say, “I’ll go there someday.” The usual “hay, buti pa sya” can go “makakarating din ako dyan balang araw.” Of course, without putting the blogger down on the back of our minds. Think that you can do it, if he/she can do it.
- Be your own traveler – Be your own unique self. The travel blogger community is myriad of different people with different approaches on how to travel. Don’t get intimidated with the backpacking stereotype or envy the luxury traveler, or shun away the so-called turista image. It is up to you on how you deal with it, as long as you enjoy it. Stand out but don’t blurt out that you’re better than them, or the vicious cycle gets on once more.
- Get started – By the time that you have dealt with your negative impulses, you can start taking your step forward on how to get to the destination or experience that the blogger have gone before. You’re on your way.
- Acknowledge – It’s optional but we can say thanks wholeheartedly to whoever inspired you to go on a journey. In this simple gesture, not only that the blogger can feel great, but also for you to go on and pursue your dreams. In the future perhaps, you can serve as an inspiration for others to explore the world as well.
This is just based on my experience. I’m no psychology graduate or someone with authority. I guess we have different ways in our coping mechanism, but I believe in “converting” the negativity into positive vibes. There are more ways in overcoming envy or jealousy, we have just tackled a few, I guess.
We can believe that we can overcome this trivial, common, yet often negative feeling into a more positive vibe. It is not only in travel blogging or bloggers alone, but we too can apply this on different aspects of life. There is always a way to make ourselves feel better and with patience and hardwork, we too can go to whatever destination we can.
You too can add up suggestions or ideas on how do we make things more positive in social media, and for ourselves in a long run. Feel free to place it on the comments box below.