How to Overcome

How to Overcome Envy on Travel Blog Posts?

Let’s face it. We bloggers or readers sometimes do feel jealousy or envy with our fellow bloggers or the ones we follow. In the community of travel blogging, hide as we might, but we do feel envious to our fellow blogger whenever they go somewhere else, celebrate, or relax. In the era of social media, this has become a menacing fact, we guess or perhaps feel psychologically. Sometimes these emotions affect not only ourselves negatively, but our relationship towards other people as well.

I for one do feel this sometimes, given that I haven’t traveled much for the past few months.

However, we can divert this sort of negative feeling to a positive approach. How can we minimize or overcome this remorseful feeling of “I should be there too” or “(S)he shouldn’t be there” or “Nakakainggit naman!” into “a call for action?” Here are some of the tips:

  • Make it as a source of inspiration – Make the blogger or the travel-related post that you are following as a source of inspiration. Think that you too can go there, do it, with patience and hard work. Always remember that even these well-traveled, well-seasoned bloggers started with a single step. Remember the Japanese proverb, “A journey of a thousand miles begin on the single step.” You too can make it or even beyond it! We have different paths to take towards our goal–and it’s the journey that counts the most.

I for one have looked upon the hosts of Lonely Planet, Travelers, and other travelogues as my inspiration. I envied them because they go to a lot of places. Later I realized, it wasn’t the right thing. I too can do it, someday.

Social media
Social media usually portrays our ideal self.
  • Be ready – Have yourself ready for these “enviable” posts. Most likely those people who post also have some challenges other than yours. In the era of social media, people tend to post the “ideal self” or “the ideal destination” to be on social networks. This triggers envy or jealousy in some people, especially those who haven’t have the opportunity. Guard yourself.

My timeline is full of travel bloggers and destinations. It is something that I acknowledge and perhaps my love and hate relationship in social media realm. I have to make sure to guard myself up and make these as a source of inspiration.

  • Avoid impulsive negative posting or bashing. Control – Don’t bash or bully a person who has gone there. Pessimistic people often think they can never go there, do it, and experience it. They sometimes badmouth, mark the one who posted as “mayabang” or boastful, look for anything negative about the blogger himself/herself, or even resort to cyber-bullying. Always remember the law of karma. People will avoid you in the long run if you have turned yourself as a green-eyed monster, simply too obnoxious, or just too ampalaya bitter. Also, try not to think of anything negative for the blogger you are reading. It is best to mind your business and not harbor grudge or hatred.

Pessimistic people are often called “toxic” in the timeline. Often, they find you annoying. So they start un-following you or even un-friend you. I wasn’t an exemption to this from time to time, so I have to conquer it and control my impulses.

  • Don’t look on yourself with self-pity — Perhaps this one may be one of your toughest challenges, especially on idle minds and boring days. Take a hike and read a book. Think that it is not your time yet to go there and someday you’ll be there too.

Every time when I look on myself with self-pity, there is nothing but a heavy and sick feeling lingering in my mind and body. This we have to conquer.

  • Go on an information diet – If social media is deemed too toxic for you, log off. Timelines have been a source of depression for some or I guess most of us. Take time to read books, perhaps learn a new language, take a vacation, or anything productive. Recharge yourself and take it slow. Then after that, if you think you are ready, log on with a fresher and newer perspective.

This is one of the best advises I’ve listened to. Social media is indeed intoxicating if you are stuck with it. It felt good when I have to leave an addiction that it has been affecting my life in a negative manner.

  • Positive or encouraging words – We remember how communication can change the mood, even if we are to deliver bad news. It goes the same here. Instead of “Why was he there and I’m not?” we can say, “I’ll go there someday.” The usual “hay, buti pa sya” can go “makakarating din ako dyan balang araw.” Of course, without putting the blogger down on the back of our minds. Think that you can do it, if he/she can do it.
  • Be your own traveler – Be your own unique self. The travel blogger community is myriad of different people with different approaches on how to travel. Don’t get intimidated with the backpacking stereotype or envy the luxury traveler, or shun away the so-called turista image. It is up to you on how you deal with it, as long as you enjoy it. Stand out but don’t blurt out that you’re better than them, or the vicious cycle gets on once more.
  • Get started –  By the time that you have dealt with your negative impulses, you can start taking your step forward on how to get to the destination or experience that the blogger have gone before. You’re on your way.
  • Acknowledge – It’s optional but we can say thanks wholeheartedly to whoever inspired you to go on a journey. In this simple gesture, not only that the blogger can feel great, but also for you to go on and pursue your dreams. In the future perhaps, you can serve as an inspiration for others to explore the world as well.

This is just based on my experience. I’m no psychology graduate or someone with authority. I guess we have different ways in our coping mechanism, but I believe in “converting” the negativity into positive vibes. There are more ways in overcoming envy or jealousy, we have just tackled a few, I guess.

Smile!
Freeing yourself from envy and jealousy can make things lighter for you.

We can believe that we can overcome this trivial, common, yet often negative feeling into a more positive vibe. It is not only in travel blogging or bloggers alone, but we too can apply this on different aspects of life. There is always a way to make ourselves feel better and with patience and hardwork, we too can go to whatever destination we can.

You too can add up suggestions or ideas on how do we make things more positive in social media, and for ourselves in a long run. Feel free to place it on the comments box below.

Bernardo Arellano III

Berniemack Arellano, is the blogger behind HabagatCentral and ViajeroFilipino. A simple and boring guy who wants to go amok whenever he’s being prevented going somewhere else. Traveler, Blogger, Food Lover, Proud Pinoy, Mexiphile, Isko ng Bayan, Passion with History and Urban Planning, FSX Pilot and future professional cartographer Since birth, he has been traveling due to the transient nature of the work of the father: NPA for short (no permanent address) or a nomad. Prefers to do more than just sightseeing, but experience anything local--from food, festivals, cities, culture, heritage and more.

  • Nina Fuentes

    This is a good one, Bernie! I do hope people take your advice and stop eating ampalaya!

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Hi @ninafuentes:disqus, thanks for reading. I really like to share this tip. I too have tasted ampalaya as well, yet the heavy feeling doesn’t make me feel happy at all. Instead, these tips, I share. Hopefully this helps, but in the end it is still up to the reader. :)

  • http://www.wandershugah.com/ Shugah Pauline G.

    Great article, bern! I don’t really get envious with people who constantly travel from one place to another; I look at them as inspiration. They fuel my wanderlust. I love looking at their photos and I only take a deep breathe and silently wish/pray that someday, Ill go places as well. At 23, I still have a lot of priorities to look after to, and travelling can wait. It’s not a race after all.

    Cheeers!!!

    xx

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Thanks @shugahpaulineg:disqusfor the feedback. There are times that we feel envy with our friends whenever they are in vacation or sorts, yet we can still make it in a positive way as a source of inspiration. Positive vibes for everyone this summer! :)

  • Olan Fernandez Emboscado

    A very good read Bern! :) Traveling or travel post should not be an object of envy naman kasi in the first place. It should be an INSPIRATION whether you want to see it or start dreaming of seeing places like those you’ve read/followed on the net. Besides, may kanya kanya tayong reason why we travel. Others travel bcoz it’s their passion, others because they need it. May iba nga they travel because they are lonely and they find happiness in traveling. Others din naman travel just for the sake of it. Point is, there’s no point of being jealous. :)

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Indeed @olanfernandezemboscado:disqus. Di lang siguro natin maiwasan makadama nito paminsan-minsan. In the end, the heavy feeling is something we should conquer. Bottomline, it is all in the mindset. :)

  • http://www.juanderfulpinoy.com/about-2/ JUANDERFULPINOY

    I’m taking all of your advices :)

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Basta happy tayo. :D

  • http://alasfilipinas.blogspot.com/ Pepe Alas

    Muy buenos puntos tienes. Quisiera compartir este artículo. Un saludo cordial.

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Gracias @pepe! Vale. Te doy el derecho para compartir esta publicación. Saludos!

  • http://www.rubenlicera.com Ruben Licera Jr.

    Great post @berniemack:disqus! Travel writing should be a source of inspiration for others to explore.

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Thanks @ruben!

  • Arpee Lazaro

    but ampalaya is healthy! wahahaha!

  • http://habagatcentral.com/ Berniemack Arellano

    Lol

  • Jeffrey Rilles

    Great post Bro! :)

  • http://lasolutionauxregimes.fr/ hamiseady

    Excellent content, bern! I don’t really get jealous with individuals who regularly journey from one position to another; I look at them as motivation. They energy my wanderlust. I really like looking at their images and I only take an in-depth take in and quietly wish/pray that at some point, Ill go locations as well. At 23, I still have a lot of main concerns to look after to, and traveling can delay. It’s not a competition after all.

    La Solution Aux Régimes

  • http://www.nohangingaround.com No Hanging Around

    Actually, I have found blogging to be my route away from being jealous of others haha the blogging community was how i really began to understand the meaning of helping others, to help myself :) Luckily this is not the reason i do it anymore, it’s nice to be nice – Thanks for writing this, very apt to how Im feeling today as I crawl through others blogs so sneakily haha Derek